Don Draper would approve

With their recent Hillbilly Hot Tub spot and their involvement (however unwilling) with Playboy’s “Two Girls, One Sub” fauxmercial, Quizno’s has had quite a year. But nothing topped their horny oven ad. It’s bizarre and amazingly suggestive, and I love it. Even though Quizno’s sandwiches are kind of gross.

Quiznos portrays a DIY hillbilly hot tub in their latest commercial, but if you ask me, these hillbillies don’t know jack about constructing homemade jacuzzis.

This MANswers clip attempts to answer the age old question of how to construct the best instant hot tub.

When it comes to racy and possibly offensive advertisements, I say bring it on! The more messed up the better. But these recent ads even make me blush. You have to wonder what the companies were thinking.

First, there’s the now-infamous “2 Girls, 1 Sub” piece, which is more of an ad for Playboy than Quizno’s, but you wouldn’t know it just by watching the ad. There’s been some debate as to whether Quizno’s actually had any involvement in the making of the ad, but I seriously hope they had nothing to do with it. First of all, it’s named after a video about eating poop, so the already-nasty Quizno’s sandwiches will now forever be associated in my mind with vomit-inducing quasi-scat-porn. Secondly, the orgasmic sounds in the background are completely gratuitous and turn what could easily be a Carl’s Jr.-type food porn commercial into something far more inappropriate. Observe.

2 Girls, 1 Sub, 0 interested consumers

Next is an ad for the Stacker (read: trucker’s meth) brand’s energy product known as 6 Hour Power. No explanation is needed. Watch for the wife’s framed photo crashing to the ground as the boss gets a ’special visit’ from his secretary…so callous, but so true.

6 Hour Power will get you office head
And of course, I have to present the blow-up doll print ad from Burger King, even if print ads aren’t really my thing. It’s just too good.

Here’s a close-up of the semi-spicy copy at the bottom of the ad:

I have to say, I’m really proud of Quizno’s for having the cajones to air a commercial like this. Granted, this is the cable version, which I’ve only seen at night on channels like SpikeTV, but it’s still fairly eyebrow-raising as sandwich chain commercials go. The version that airs on network TV is far less interesting and doesn’t really make any sense, which leads me to believe that this version was the original ad vision. My favorite part is their discussion of how Scott, the sandwich maker, has previously “put it in” and doesn’t want to it again because it burned, to which the oven replies, “we both enjoyed that.”

Quizno’s Toasty Torpedo Ad (sexy version)