This ad for the hair volumizing tool Bumpits is the best. If I ever “rock a pony,” do me a favor and put me out of my misery.

Bumpits Ad

While I have no beef with the fine deoderant/antipersperant product known as Degree, the new ad for their women’s Fine Fragrance Collection is just silly. I wasn’t able to locate a clip, so please allow me to attempt to recapture the brilliance.

A hermetic male perfumier, who looks a little like Karl Lagerfeld if I recall correctly, drives around and complains in voice over that his life’s work has been for naught, because he realized something. It struck him that sweat washes away perfume, so there’s no point in designing it anymore. Instead he will devote his life to creating matching deoderants and body sprays for Degree.

Um, what? First of all, any perfumier worth his salt would know that sweat makes scents work, and in fact they don’t reach their full potential until your own pheromones have mixed in with them. Secondly, all sorts of perfumes already have matching cosmetic products…just take a stroll past your local department store perfume section if you don’t believe me. Granted, the idea of putting designer scents (although I assume that by “designer,” Degree means “not designer”) into deoderant is a bit unusual, unless you’re a guy who likes his Axe. But you can just spritz a bit of your favorite perfume on your underarms if you really want them to smell like CK One or whatever. I don’t get it.

Does this ad bother everyone else as much as it does me?

Trojan Vibrating Touch Fingertip Massager

Beyond the obvious fact that that old woman shouldn’t be butting into these young ladies’ sex conversation, much less with her own gross input on vibrators, this product is a crock. These things (along with those vibrating cock rings all the condom companies sell at Walgreens) are just a waste of money, pure and simple. They’re only good for one or two uses, they’re incredibly weak and wouldn’t help anyone besides a blushing virgin, and for the money, you could buy an actual sex toy that works! Anyone who’s considering spending money on one of these bitches would be well advised to go to Babeland.com instead.