It’s that time of year at last, the time where we all look back at the trainwreck of a year we just survived and rummage through the debris for something worth praising or mocking. That, or writing best and worst lists on crappy internet sites. For now, I’m working on the worst, and my first nominee is….

Latisse!

This one’s a no-brainer (or a no-eyeballer, depending on the side effects). The idea that anyone would want to take a bunch of pills to make their eyelashes grow is really creepy. I’ll bet they’re real estate agents and office managers and shit too…nothing glamorous.

There will be a poll thingy to vote on the worst ads at the end of the year!

I’ve been making fun of Latisse for a while, so I rather enjoy this parody from Funny or Die. They even have their own website (whyaremyeyesbleeding.com) for some reason.

Have you seen the new TV ad for Latisse, a magical eyelash growing serum that promises to help women (or men, I suppose) regrow missing lashes and/or lengthen and thicken their existing lashes? It’s downright terrifying.

Click here to watch it.

Brooke Shields stars in the commercial, which makes me wonder why she’s been receiving so much exposure lately. I don’t know exactly who’s behind her return to celebrity status, but I have some questions for them.

Anyway, Brooke’s involvement is irrelevant, because the product itself is what’s disturbing. The ad promises that Latisse will give you amazing huge eyelashes, but also warns that side effects include skin discoloration on your eyelid which MIGHT go away over time. And that’s not all. They also mention (I’m not kidding) that your eyes might permanently turn brown. Yes, your very irises. Brown. Forever. What??

This sounds like such a bad idea. And they’re marketing it like a beauty product, even though it’s a prescription drug. This is far worse than when they marketed medicine for Restless Leg Syndrome to the public in a deceptive way that made it seem like it was for anyone who was remotely fidgety. This is something normal everyday women who wear mascara or false lashes for an extra boost will think they need, and then we’ll find out that it actually blinds people and Latisse is going to have one major class action lawsuit on their hands. Or not, I just like to think about worst case scenarios. Like how I firmly believe that sunless tanner is going to turn out to cause skin cancer, and deoderant breast cancer, and birth control pills everything cancer. Either way, there’s no way in hell I’m putting this crazy crap on my eyes.