Wow, it’s almost perfect that a big budget commercial decides to capitalize on something all the smart young kids are into and ends up missing the point completely. In the awesome but short-lived TV show Party Down, the main character, Henry Pollard, is a washed up actor who is best known for, yep, a commercial. This beer ad, his one claim to fame, features him uttering the catchphrase “Are we having fun yet?!” and haunts him wherever he goes forever after in the form of random people requesting that he say the phrase.

Granted, Hot Pockets dropped the “yet,” but it still kind of kills me inside.

Here’s the Party Down version just because.

This is a new one: having a subject of derision like Pauly D from Jersey Shore give an anti-endorsement to your product. Whatever works, Miracle Whip, but after this and your “Don’t Be So Mayo” campaign, I’m starting to think you’re having self-esteem issues. I still prefer Stephen Colbert’s mayo ad.

This very misguided new commercial for Planters, entitled “Alejandro” and voiced by Robert Downey Jr., shows Mr. Peanut’s Spanish almond friend as a matador-type, fighting a giant horned beetle. Here’s my first, and really only, problem with this otherwise nicely animated ad: THERE’S A BEETLE IN IT (not a Beatle, that would be fantastic). Insects do not make me want to buy food. In fact, now I will forever associate disgusting bugs with your fine peanut products. Thanks a lot Planters!

Whoa, weird. I guess The Olive Garden is cashing in now that Sarah Hyland, the oldest daughter from Modern Family, is famous, just like with Elisabeth Moss and Excedrin. Great, now I’m hungry for Olive Garden.

Watch the video here! (embedding didn’t work, boo)

Why is this?

Have you seen this obnoxious-as-hell commercial for the admittedly tasty cereal Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Warning: it will make you never want to use the internet again.

Well I finally figured out who this bitch reminds me of! Did you see that episode of Intervention where that girl Allison is addicted to huffing computer cleaner? Check it out. It’s totally the same person! That explains why she falls over after eating her Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I guess.

Every time this Bisquick commercial comes on, with its ridiculous “Blueberry Pancake” song (higher quality audio version here), I laugh because it reminds me so much of Sarah Silverman’s song “Pancakes Please.” Here are the two videos so you can compare for yourself (sorry about the low video quality).

Sarah Silverman: Pancakes Please (click through to confirm you are mature)

KFC’s Double Down sandwich was introduced in limited release last year, leading me to nominate the original ad for Worst Ad of the Year. But now it’s everywhere, and minds are being blown by the thousands. This is good for me, because it means people are starting to upload the ads more! Here’s the apocalyptic commercial that’s been airing lately.

“You can call me Nannerpuss, Nannerpuss…and guess what, I love pancakes!”

You sure do, Nannerpuss.

(P.S. This is a Denny’s ad that I originally wrote about here.)

The terrifying beast of a “food” item known as the Double Down sandwich has to be the most daring creation unleashed by KFC since the Famous Bowl. It might even top that famed bowl, due to the pure audacity of their attempting to rethink the entire sandwich by putting the meat on the outside. I’ve thought of things like this while in a drunken stupor, but kudos to them for making it a reality.

I apologize for the shitty quality of the video below.

The recent commercial for Wonderful brand pistachios, embedded below, portrays a dominatrix whipping a pistachio. The subject matter doesn’t concern me, but the bad grammar does. The ad says “Dominatrix do it on command,” using the word “dominatrix” as a plural for itself. That is just plain wrong. According to logic, countless overheard references and even Wikipedia, the correct plural is “dominatrices.” Just like matrices in math class. This isn’t the most egregious grammar offense I’ve seen in advertisements lately, but it’s still worth pointing out.

Quiznos portrays a DIY hillbilly hot tub in their latest commercial, but if you ask me, these hillbillies don’t know jack about constructing homemade jacuzzis.

This MANswers clip attempts to answer the age old question of how to construct the best instant hot tub.

Stephen Colbert presented a brilliant imitation ad the other day on his fine comedy news show, The Colbert Report. He was complaining about the cool, youthful approach Miracle Whip is using in their commercials of late, and he made his own awesome version, entitled “The Mayolution Will Not Be Televised.”

This is the original Miracle Whip ad in question. It’s pretty dumb. The ad slogan, “Don’t be so mayo,” also sounds suspiciously like a ripoff of Baskin-Robbins’ “Don’t be so vanilla” campaign, which I discussed a while back.

I like Stephen’s version better.

It’s hard to criticize McDonalds for what seems like a perfectly well-intentioned marketing campaign, not to mention their associated community outreach efforts. But this 365Black campaign seems like a step in the wrong direction in some ways, and the name needs some work. I went onto the campaign’s website hoping to find a mature representation of the 21st Century African-American community. And for the most part, the site is normal fast food website content, but they come off as a little bit delusional on the About page, where they attempt to portray themselves as the mighty baobab that provides life to the entire community.

These two ads for Pretz, a Japanese pretzel company, are pretty bizarre. They don’t make me particularly hungry, but then again neither do most snack food ads, except maybe the ones for delicious frozen pizza. Mmm, frozen pizza.

And, just for kicks, here’s one more Japanese spot. This one is for LA Pizza (or Pizza LA, as their shirts say). Pretty damn awesome.