This is pretty funny, if only because I’ve seen those fake Cover Girl commercials being shot in so many seasons of Top Model, and they’re in such desperate need of being mocked. Ellen DeGeneres really seems to know how to send up the whole thing, with her confusion and inability to look at the camera (which could be a scene straight out of Top Model). And the opening line is genius and so true — it’s something I wish all makeup commercials would say.

I just saw Avon’s new commercial for the perfume “In Bloom,” which was apparently created by Sweet Home Alabama actress and sometime Jake Gyllenhaal canoodler Reese Witherspoon. And, I know, perfume ads are always cheesy (see every Britney Spears designer fragrance commercial ever made). But for the love of all things tacky, did they have to make it so ridiculous and over-the-top?

They should have gotten David Lynch to direct it. Then the cheeriness would be tinged with the suspicion that a darker side is lurking just beneath the surface, like in this Bambi-themed Playstation 2 ad he did a while back.

While I was trying to locate a video for a prescription eye drop commercial, I happened upon this awesomely weird ad for Iro colored eye drops. Basically, it’s like food coloring for your eyes, and it is supposed to temporarily change the color of just the irises (how they achieve that without any color bleed onto the whites of your eyes I’ll never know).

Doesn’t this just seem like a lawsuit in the making? If you want to change your eye color for the night, buy a pair of disposable lenses. Don’t subject your eyes to god knows what kind of dyes and chemicals just for the sake of vanity. This is even creepier than that Latisse ad that says their product may permanently turn your eyes brown.

Iro eye drops

Thanks to Chris for pointing this ad out to me!

David Lynch is best known for his bizarre yet strangely enticing feature films, as well as a wealth of other pursuits (visual art, music, transcendental meditation instruction, even amateur meteorology), but he also directed this recent Gucci ad for their new fragrance. The scent is aptly titled “Gucci by Gucci,” and the spot is…well, it’s by David Lynch. Enjoy!

Have you watched this ad yet?  Calvin Klein was apparently forced not to air this “controversial” ad featuring sultry Eva Mendes.

Calvin Klein’s Secret Obsession ad

I really don’t see what the big deal is.  There’s a tiny flash of nip, and it’s tasteful as hell.  Sure, this is a Puritanical jerk country where Janet Jackson’s little flash caused a mighty stir, but when the rest of TV is chock full of other sexual innuendo and portrayals (i.e. CBS’ Swingtown, which for the record is really fun and addictive), not to mention horrific violence (think any crime or action show on TV) and so forth, it just seems ridiculous to care about seeing the human body as it exists naturally.  Kids know damn well what nipples look like — boys and girls both have them, after all — and it wouldn’t hurt to not put such a taboo on nudity that kids end up developing sexual complexes.  Maybe if we were all more comfortable with our bodies, there wouldn’t be such a need for extreme pornography and weird fetishes.

Plus, they already have nudity all over the ads in Europe, and they’re a lot more fucking sane than we are!  I say it’s time we start letting boobs on TV.  Boob equality!  I’ll bet the real reason they don’t do it is because our society is sexist, and they want to keep women in veils and long robes.  Just sayin’.