Now I’ve seen everything! Just now I was enjoying a fine episode of The View on Hulu when an ad started playing, as will often happen when I’m trying to watch online videos. I was prepared to lower the volume and look away to avoid being subjected to yet another car ad when suddenly I spotted out of the corner of my eye something I really didn’t expect.

The ad in question was for Coffee Mate, which I find to be delicious. But the scene in question, just a brief shot (around the 14 second mark), was not of a thirty-something woman cuddling up with a cat or sipping her coffee thoughtfully in a bay window. No, it was a direct reference to one of my favorite scenes in the influential French New Wave film Band of Outsiders (French title: Bande à part) by Jean-Luc Godard! If you’ve seen the film, you’ll remember the notable scene where the trio of protagonists performs a choreographed dance in a café while the narrator discusses what they’re thinking about. Well, here they are dancing the exact same dance and dressed in period outfits, and the actress playing the Anna Karina role really does resemble her! But why are there two people and not three? Oh well, can’t win ‘em all. Maybe the threesome implications of the film were too daring for modern audiences?

Anyway, here is the ad, and below it the original scene.

As a major Lost fan, I was shocked to see what looked like Dr. Pierre Chang (aka actor François Chau), the mysterious Dharma Initiative video narrator and father of Miles, starring in a commercial for Bud Light. He’s still playing a scientist with that John O’Hurley-ish dry wit, so it’s even more Lost-seeming.

This isn’t exactly an ad, but an email promotion that I get because I’m a loyal member of the Miller High Life points reward program. Yes, I’m a lush. But there’s nothing more satisfying than getting free swag as a side effect of drinking too much cheap beer. A reward for something I really shouldn’t be rewarded for!

Anyway, these fine purveyors of the Champagne of Beers have decided, in all their wisdom, that it was time to make their packaging less garish and more sophisticated. Since the recession, I bet a lot more people are realizing the amazing value of a 12-pack of High Life, so it only fits that the company should do their part and make it less embarrassing to be seen carrying it.

Here is the message that went along with the new image.

Also, this is sort of unrelated, but if you go to MillerHighLife.com, you’ll notice that the new login button says “Start Living.” Kind of creepy.

I understand that it’s the job of advertising agencies to tap into the hot new trends with the young people, but Pepsi has gone too far. The company’s latest ad completely rips off the popular and highly original music video for “Hibi no Neiro” by Sour, without adding anything. It’s just shameless.

Here’s the original music video and, below it, the Pepsi version.

I don’t know what the ad people at Bud Light were drinking when they came up with this viral spot. I would guess they were drinking Bud Light, but that doesn’t get you drunk, so it must have been something else.

I like the idea of a naked office, but this commercial just doesn’t make sense to me. Why are only some of the employees nude or partially nude? And what does this really have to do with beer? And why are some people seemingly uncomfortable working there, even though they clearly knew it was a naked office from day one?

All I know is that it doesn’t make me want to drink beer, and that’s pretty damn hard to do.

Parent company Coca-Cola‘s ads for Glaceau Vitamin Water are under attack, according to The Guardian. The ads in question have been challenged due to their ‘misleading’ claims about their nutritional value. I would say nobody really takes those beverages’ claims of benefits like energy, relaxation, and power seriously, but with America you never know.

Do these ads look threatening to you?

Actor Ron Perlman, best known for playing Hellboy, appears here in an ad for beermaker Stella Artois. The ad is titled “Devil’s Island,” a reference to the famed prison colony of yore.

This is one of the better directed beer commercials I’ve seen. Well worth checking out! And if you know who directed it, drop me a line!

I don’t really understand this Guinness commercial. A group of guys get together for a nice pint, and drinking it sends them back in time through the ages. They devolve into cavemen, then various animals, and finally turn into fish with feet. Is this meant to suggest that drinking turns you into a primal beast? Not that I would argue with that, but the point doesn’t seem very clear.

Magic time traveling beer

It came to my attention that the Folgers riverdance ad was removed, so my apologies to anyone looking for it. Blasted ad companies, not realizing that free dispersement of advertising is a good thing!

So while looking (unsuccessfully) for a replacement, I came across this great old Folgers commercial from what looks like the early 60s. It features a man chastising his wife for making lousy coffee, and mentioning how the ladies at his office can make better coffee with a hotplate. Now if that isn’t implying adultery, I don’t know what is.

Folgers vintage housewife ad

I have reviewed McDonalds’ crappy McCafé ads in the past, but this new one bears mentioning. A lame guy in a minivan pulls up next to a motorcycle in traffic, and the biker makes some sarcastic comments about the minivan. Then it starts raining, and the lame guy smugly sips from his McCafé coffee drink while the biker freaks out, having apparently never considered the fact that it might rain. You’d think the biker would have dealt with this situation in the past.

Then the lame guy smugly comments that it’s pronounced “minivané” before driving off. If I were that biker I would have punched him in his smug face. But also, what the hell? If the word was minivane, that would work, but no. In the past, at least they used words that actually ended in ‘e,’ like “commute.” This just makes no sense.

Minivan vs. Motorcycle

This ad comes to us from Spain, and it includes some pretty decent Bollywood singing and dancing. Enjoy!

Bollywood Coke ad

This newish Taco Bell ad for their Frutista drinks is slightly confusing.  The annoying lyrics in their “if you like piña colada” ripoff song seem to suggest that stressed office workers and people stuck in traffic jams love drinking piña coladas to unwind, which makes perfect sense. I too would love to drink while I was stuck in traffic, if not for those pesky DUI laws. But these are obviously virgin drinks, so why are these stressed-out office fools so excited?

And if these drinks are really booze-free, which I assume they are, why don’t they call them virgin piña coladas? Is it because you can’t say “virgin” in a commercial? Virgin Air and/or Megastore doesn’t seem to think so. I might try one of these Frutistas (which sounds like some sort of militia), as long as I had a couple of mini bottles of rum to spike it with.

Here’s the silly ad.

Boozeless coladas, aka Zapateasetas

The recent ads for Wendy’s, which feature their new frappucino-esque “Frosty-cino” shakes, are pretty bizarre. What with the glittery boy bands, the obvious amount of sugar and candy they put into the drinks, and the fact that nobody in their right mind would get their morning coffee at Wendy’s, you have to wonder what they were thinking. Most people tend to go with the classic Starbucks frapp, or perhaps Dunkin Donuts’ Coolata. And when I think healthy breakfast (or at least breakfast that won’t make me obese), I don’t think of a Wendy’s Frosty. Now, that’s not to say that I dislike Frosties. In fact, I have been a big fan from a very young age, and I think that nothing compliments hot french fries quite like them. But I still don’t think they should tamper with a good thing by trying to turn it into coffee. Here’s the ad!

Wanna get Frosty?

This Lipton commercial from the 1990s is one of those ads that I saw so many times during my formative years, I could sing the jingle from memory without even having watched this clip.

Random early childhood memory: my friends and I used to make fun of it when swimming (which we did a lot in the Arizona desert) by dryly saying “This is Lipton Tea Time,” then as we dove from the diving board, singing “This is the taste!” I told you it was random.

Lipton Tea Time Ad

This is the ad I was actually looking for when I ended up posting the magical briefcase Folgers ad. This Folgers commercial is such a classic, it barely needs an introduction. Let’s just say it’s a little story about a free-spirited dancer who needs caffeine to get her going in the morning, but once she does, it’s Riverdance time. I find it strange that Folgers keeps playing this ad year after year, as if it’s not dated at all. Remember when Riverdance was actually kind of trendy? That was a long time ago.

Folgers Riverdance goodness