I don’t know what the ad people at Bud Light were drinking when they came up with this viral spot. I would guess they were drinking Bud Light, but that doesn’t get you drunk, so it must have been something else.
I like the idea of a naked office, but this commercial just doesn’t make sense to me. Why are only some of the employees nude or partially nude? And what does this really have to do with beer? And why are some people seemingly uncomfortable working there, even though they clearly knew it was a naked office from day one?
All I know is that it doesn’t make me want to drink beer, and that’s pretty damn hard to do.
Parent company Coca-Cola’s ads for Glaceau Vitamin Water are under attack, according to The Guardian. The ads in question have been challenged due to their ‘misleading’ claims about their nutritional value. I would say nobody really takes those beverages’ claims of benefits like energy, relaxation, and power seriously, but with America you never know.
Actor Ron Perlman, best known for playing Hellboy, appears here in an ad for beermaker Stella Artois. The ad is titled “Devil’s Island,” a reference to the famed prison colony of yore.
This is one of the better directed beer commercials I’ve seen. Well worth checking out! And if you know who directed it, drop me a line!
I don’t really understand this Guinness commercial. A group of guys get together for a nice pint, and drinking it sends them back in time through the ages. They devolve into cavemen, then various animals, and finally turn into fish with feet. Is this meant to suggest that drinking turns you into a primal beast? Not that I would argue with that, but the point doesn’t seem very clear.
It came to my attention that the Folgers riverdance ad was removed, so my apologies to anyone looking for it. Blasted ad companies, not realizing that free dispersement of advertising is a good thing!
So while looking (unsuccessfully) for a replacement, I came across this great old Folgers commercial from what looks like the early 60s. It features a man chastising his wife for making lousy coffee, and mentioning how the ladies at his office can make better coffee with a hotplate. Now if that isn’t implying adultery, I don’t know what is.
I have reviewed McDonalds’ crappy McCafé ads in the past, but this new one bears mentioning. A lame guy in a minivan pulls up next to a motorcycle in traffic, and the biker makes some sarcastic comments about the minivan. Then it starts raining, and the lame guy smugly sips from his McCafé coffee drink while the biker freaks out, having apparently never considered the fact that it might rain. You’d think the biker would have dealt with this situation in the past.
Then the lame guy smugly comments that it’s pronounced “minivané” before driving off. If I were that biker I would have punched him in his smug face. But also, what the hell? If the word was minivane, that would work, but no. In the past, at least they used words that actually ended in ‘e,’ like “commute.” This just makes no sense.
This newish Taco Bell ad for their Frutista drinks is slightly confusing. The annoying lyrics in their “if you like piña colada” ripoff song seem to suggest that stressed office workers and people stuck in traffic jams love drinking piña coladas to unwind, which makes perfect sense. I too would love to drink while I was stuck in traffic, if not for those pesky DUI laws. But these are obviously virgin drinks, so why are these stressed-out office fools so excited?
And if these drinks are really booze-free, which I assume they are, why don’t they call them virgin piña coladas? Is it because you can’t say “virgin” in a commercial? Virgin Air and/or Megastore doesn’t seem to think so. I might try one of these Frutistas (which sounds like some sort of militia), as long as I had a couple of mini bottles of rum to spike it with.
The recent ads for Wendy’s, which feature their new frappucino-esque “Frosty-cino” shakes, are pretty bizarre. What with the glittery boy bands, the obvious amount of sugar and candy they put into the drinks, and the fact that nobody in their right mind would get their morning coffee at Wendy’s, you have to wonder what they were thinking. Most people tend to go with the classic Starbucks frapp, or perhaps Dunkin Donuts’ Coolata. And when I think healthy breakfast (or at least breakfast that won’t make me obese), I don’t think of a Wendy’s Frosty. Now, that’s not to say that I dislike Frosties. In fact, I have been a big fan from a very young age, and I think that nothing compliments hot french fries quite like them. But I still don’t think they should tamper with a good thing by trying to turn it into coffee. Here’s the ad!
This Lipton commercial from the 1990s is one of those ads that I saw so many times during my formative years, I could sing the jingle from memory without even having watched this clip.
Random early childhood memory: my friends and I used to make fun of it when swimming (which we did a lot in the Arizona desert) by dryly saying “This is Lipton Tea Time,” then as we dove from the diving board, singing “This is the taste!” I told you it was random.
This is the ad I was actually looking for when I ended up posting the magical briefcaseFolgers ad. This Folgers commercial is such a classic, it barely needs an introduction. Let’s just say it’s a little story about a free-spirited dancer who needs caffeine to get her going in the morning, but once she does, it’s Riverdance time. I find it strange that Folgers keeps playing this ad year after year, as if it’s not dated at all. Remember when Riverdance was actually kind of trendy? That was a long time ago.
While looking for a different Folgers ad, I came across this scrap of commercial gold. The magic businessman is taking an airplane to a busy meeting or S&M convention or something, and he’s tired. So what does he do? He takes out his briefcase, which contains a full-sized coffee machine. Then he uses his magic powers to turn the machine into a cute smaller machine, and then into a teabag-like single-serving satchel of gross instant coffee.
First of all, if you’re going to transform a coffee machine into something, why not just turn it into a cup of good espresso? The best coffee in the world, perhaps? Anything but nasty instant coffee packets.
Secondly, if it’s shitty coffee you want, the airplane can usually handle that sort of request for you. They’re all about the gross coffee up there in the friendly skies. This guy thinks he’s such a genius, but I bet the stewardess will come around to refresh his cup with more instant Folgers in a minute.
I regret that I was unable to locate a video clip of the Nestle Pure Life bottled water commercial that’s been playing on TV lately. It’s pretty good. The narrator jokingly goes over the different ways we play with water during the summer, and then somehow uses that to justify drinking their bottled water. They say things like, “you wouldn’t dive into a pool of high fructose corn syrup.” Well, maybe I would, Nestle! Maybe that’s my favorite activity: draining my outdoor pool, filling it with bottle after bottle of corn syrup, and then diving on in. And what of it?
I really like the idea of running a different kind of liquid through your sprinklers, which they also suggest. I would use beer, clearly. Sure it would be a waste of beer, but what a delicious waste indeed.
I have been trying to track down this annoying McDonalds ad for their new McCafé product (which, as far as I can tell, is just coffee). I guess they’re trying to compete with Starbucks, but it’s not going to work. Nobody wants to lounge in a room that smells like fryer grease. Plus, in New York at least, the McDonaldses are always filled with shady characters and bums trying to use the bathroom to take a bum shower, so I certainly wouldn’t feel safe taking my laptop in there. Stick to making mediocre fast food, McDonalds. Okay, I like their fries, but for anything else I’m going to White Castle.
Anyway, I can’t stand the way they accent the end of every word in this ad. They had to know how goofy it sounded. As I’ve said before, they should really release a darker version where they say things like Puké! and Suicidé!
I could pretty much go through life only making two purchases: White Castle burgers and Miller High Life. It’s by far the cheapest decent (i.e. not Natty Ice) beer at the convenience store I frequent, and they have those awesome points you can save up for merchandise. So far I’ve earned two tank tops, a set of bottle cap magnets and an iron-on patch, and for my next purchase I have my heart set on the mini outdoor grill.
More importantly, Miller High Life knows the value of good advertising. Their latest ad campaign is not only funny, it’s not obnoxious! I genuinely don’t mind their commercials. And this one tearing apart other Super Bowl ads is pretty right on.
