I find this Mastercard dinner scene commercial confusing. First of all, they seem to be implying that only people with credit cards can buy and/or afford generic food brands like Pillsbury and Jolly Green Giant veggies. Not so. Secondly, this is one bizarre-ass meal they’re coming up with. Pickles, peanuts, Count Chocula cereal, Spaghetti-O’s, crescent rolls, tuna casserole, salt, fish sticks, canned vegetables, and god knows what else…those ingredients do not a satisfying feast make. And I find it strange that Mr. Clean is doing the dishes…his brand represents cleaning products, not dishwasher detergent. How about Joy Droppy?

Here’s the odd feast in video form:

Mastercard mascot feast

This Lipton commercial from the 1990s is one of those ads that I saw so many times during my formative years, I could sing the jingle from memory without even having watched this clip.

Random early childhood memory: my friends and I used to make fun of it when swimming (which we did a lot in the Arizona desert) by dryly saying “This is Lipton Tea Time,” then as we dove from the diving board, singing “This is the taste!” I told you it was random.

Lipton Tea Time Ad

I think it’s hilarious that couples around the country are seeing these ads for KY’s “Yours and Mine” (i.e. His and Hers) lubricants and thinking that it will somehow improve their sex lives. Lube, it would seem, is no longer for  booty sex enthusiasts and the post-menopausal. I have heard at least two people describe KY’s pair o’ lubes as something they’d like to try, thinking it will add that special sizzle to their relationships, or thinking it will even somehow have a medicinal effect and improve their orgasms.

I’m sorry to tell you, public, but all that lube does is make things more slippery. If you’re not enjoying sleeping with your partner, a slathering of grease isn’t going to help things any. But the ads certainly seem to imply otherwise…

I also like how the theme of this particular ad (below) seems to be: “This’ll shut her up.”

Fun with lube

Another commercial from the TMI file, this is the original Pepto Bismol song and dance commercial. And by dance, I mean the dancers mime various digestive problems. It’s bizarre and disturbing, but now that Pepto has moved on to other advertising tactics, I kind of miss the dancing spots. Strange how that happens.

Pepto Bismol Macarena ad

My ads of the week haven’t exactly been regularly spaced out, you might have noticed, but so be it. This is a particularly disturbing new ad spot for Viking Pest, a pest control company. I think they stole their mascot from my nightmares.

Viking Pest ad

This ad for the hair volumizing tool Bumpits is the best. If I ever “rock a pony,” do me a favor and put me out of my misery.

Bumpits Ad

I thought Yaz was a dumb enough product as is, back when it was just a crappy birth control pill with delusions that it could cure PMS. But then they got busted by the FDA and had to issue a retraction commercial, and now they’re just ridiculous. I love the way they act as if it’s no big deal that they’ve been ordered to stop lying about the benefits of their drug. Yaz isn’t as bad as the pills that claim to stop your period, while still admitting that you will experience heavy spotting where your period used to be (and for the uninitiated or male, spotting just means getting your period). But it’s still annoying, especially because their name sucks. Yaz. Sounds like a newfangled way to say “yeah” to me.

Yaz “My Bad” ad

I was trying to find my favorite new Perdue ad (the one where Mr. Perdue warns a chicken named Gladys not to eat any candy as he takes her hidden stash, and she balks–or bawks–at his suggestion) when I came across this older ad. Needless to say, it caught my attention.

Perdue Entrees Commercial

Thanks to Chris for pointing this ad out to me!

David Lynch is best known for his bizarre yet strangely enticing feature films, as well as a wealth of other pursuits (visual art, music, transcendental meditation instruction, even amateur meteorology), but he also directed this recent Gucci ad for their new fragrance. The scent is aptly titled “Gucci by Gucci,” and the spot is…well, it’s by David Lynch. Enjoy!

This Beggin’ Strips ad deserves the title “Ad of the Decade” at least, but we’ll start with Ad of the Week. When I die, I want my tombstone to read “Bacon popular, story at 11.”

Beggin’ Strips Commercial