Ritz Crackers are OK, but they’re hardly my favorite cracker. They’re definitely not on the same level as awesome crackers like Triscuits, Wheat Thins, and even Better Cheddars. But that is not my beef with them at the moment. Rather, I am concerned about the fact that they seem to be endorsing playing with your food rather than eating it.

In the below ad, a group of cool, hip youths sits around and plays a variation on the fine party game Jenga using the aforementioned crackers. I highly doubt that they will eat all the filthy crackers off their floor and table after they’re done. It reminds me of the news report in The Simpsons showing people throwing whole chickens and pouring out cartons of milk into the garbage (”Coming up next, a new fad that’s sweeping the nation — wasting food!”).

Also of note is that they use what sounds like a reworked version of Cake’s “Short Skirt/Long Jacket,” although knowing Cake, it could be any of their other songs as well, by which I mean they all kind of sound alike.

I have always enjoyed Herbal Essences‘ fine line of haircare products, and now that they’ve revealed their new slogan, I like them even more. At the end of the commercial below, in regard to a hair product user with newly fabulous hair, the narrator says “Someone’s been doing the herbal” (and I’m guessing it’s whoever came up with this ad campaign).  What’s more, the phrase appears on the screen to confirm that, yes, this is a slogan and not just a passing joke.

So pothead humor is being used to sell shampoo. If it were hemp shampoo I’d understand, but as of right now, the tactic seems a little random. Decide for yourself!

I heard about this ridiculous ad on the Kathie Lee and Hoda morning happy hour of the Today Show, and I have a hard time believing it’s for real. And if it is, why would anyone make such an inane commercial? The world may never know.

The ad purports to be for some company called MSI, and I think the laptop they’re advertising is called the X series. And that’s the most research I care to do for a butt computer.

I spotted the ridiculous product called Tingotang on TV’s Dragons’ Den, on which the company tried and failed to obtain funding for their misguided efforts. Basically, it’s jewelry you’re supposed to wear to signal that you’re single when at a bar or such. The product was dumb and nobody would ever buy it, but their ad is even worse.

I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to name a family-friendly product something that sounds exactly like “Titty,” but somehow it happened. Meet The Tiddy Bear. This is a bear-shaped seatbelt cushion that you position face-down in your boobs (or shoulder, etc.), as demonstrated in the infomercial below. So I guess you could say it motorboats motorists (ba-dum)!

The Tiddy Bear is getting fresh with those drivers

Sweet fancy Moses, is there no end to the weirdness KFC will unleash upon the world? First there was the Famous Bowl, and now this. The Huffington Post did a great piece on the bizarre sandwich, which replaces bread with fried chicken cutlets and contains bacon, special sauce, and two kinds of cheese. This monstrosity will surely spell our doom. Here’s a newsclip from Fox News.

This ad is just plain confusing. The company appears to be selling regular toothbrushes, but calling them revolutionary. And at $14.95 for 4 (not including shipping), they’re more expensive than far superior brushes you can buy pretty much anywhere. What the hell were the makers of The Easy Toothbrush thinking? They would get laughed out of the Dragons’ Den in five minutes.

The best part of an infomercial is always the scene of everyday people struggling with even the most basic tasks. This montage includes some of my favorite before moments, like the old woman who can’t find her car (you’ll see what I mean).

This Thai commercial for some sort of toothpaste is sort of messed up. It seems like it’s going to be a sad PSA about how we shouldn’t be racist, but then the main character goes to sleep on a giant toothbrush, and I start wondering if it’s a Michel Gondry movie or something. The ending explains it all, but in a pretty demeaning way.

I am wary of commercials that rely on simplistic violence for laughs, but who am I kidding, violence is hilarious. At least in the Three Stooges sense, not in the “Faces of Death” sense.

I wonder why Japan gets all the cool fast food, like the Mega Mac at McDonald’s, and we’re stuck eating the same old quarter pounders and chicken sandwiches. Case in point: this Pizza Hut pizza with a hot dog-like sausage woven through the crust! When will we be getting more weird crap like this and less boring crap like the pasta bread bowl?

I’ve never heard of the Happy’s Pizza chain, which I think is in mostly based in the Midwest, but their commercials sure are fun. The theme song is kind of catchy and kind of creepy. Somehow they got the famous group The Four Tops to be in (at least) two of their ads, which you can view below. Personally, I prefer the Tops’ work in this Velveeta Shells and Cheese ad.

I unfortunately have not been able to locate a copy of this ad, but it’s a Verizon spot that shows office workers saying internet lingo (aka “LOL”) to each other. At first I thought it was a Bing ad, but no. And one of the actors in the ad is almost certainly the same woman who plays Jenny in the Jimmy Fallon show’s “7th Floor West” series of sketches (pictured above). Did anyone else notice this?

These oldish print ads from KY and Wonderbra are the epitome of simple but effective advertising. No need for captions…the punchlines are in the pictures.

This (French?) condom ad was apparently banned at some point. Maybe because it could cause kids to start doing things like bring chainsaws to school and put cats in the dryer (although Alf spent years glamorizing the latter activity). Anyway, it’s a funny ad. Enjoy!

“My mom said I could” ad