I really like the new White Castle pulled pork sandwiches, and I hope they stay on the menu for a while. I also kind of like the TV commercial for these sandwiches. It’s a takeoff on the classic Flashdance stripping scene, but instead of Bette from The L Word it’s a sexy pig getting drenched in BBQ sauce. Kind of creepy, but also pretty well done. You can compare the ad (below) with the original Flashdance scene (at the 4:15 mark in the second video below), if you like.
I noticed the similarity between the stink creature in this Lysol ad and the Smoke Monster from Lost some time ago, but I finally found a video of the commercial to post. As it turns out, the YouTube user PigLouie beat me to the comparison, so kudos!
Lovable Bruce Campbell, of Evil Dead fame, has done a lot of good work in his life. But you probably don’t remember his short stint as an Old Spice pitchman. Check it.
I suppose these 1-800-Victim2 commercials are for a law firm specializing in personal injury, but it doesn’t really matter what they’re for. They have everything I love in a local commercial…bad acting, bad special effects, bad visual effects, and a funny rap. The guy in the second commercial really thinks he’s all that, but is he supposed to be a lawyer? If so, I don’t trust him.
It came to my attention that the Folgers riverdance ad was removed, so my apologies to anyone looking for it. Blasted ad companies, not realizing that free dispersement of advertising is a good thing!
So while looking (unsuccessfully) for a replacement, I came across this great old Folgers commercial from what looks like the early 60s. It features a man chastising his wife for making lousy coffee, and mentioning how the ladies at his office can make better coffee with a hotplate. Now if that isn’t implying adultery, I don’t know what is.
I kind of like this fake action movie trailer from Microsoft, entitled “Office 2010: The Movie.” It’s way too long and there aren’t very many good jokes in it, but at least it’s well made.
I have reviewed McDonalds’ crappy McCafé ads in the past, but this new one bears mentioning. A lame guy in a minivan pulls up next to a motorcycle in traffic, and the biker makes some sarcastic comments about the minivan. Then it starts raining, and the lame guy smugly sips from his McCafé coffee drink while the biker freaks out, having apparently never considered the fact that it might rain. You’d think the biker would have dealt with this situation in the past.
Then the lame guy smugly comments that it’s pronounced “minivané” before driving off. If I were that biker I would have punched him in his smug face. But also, what the hell? If the word was minivane, that would work, but no. In the past, at least they used words that actually ended in ‘e,’ like “commute.” This just makes no sense.
The latest Six Flags “More Flags More Fun” commercial is just plain creepy. The old man encouraging the comely young lass to “churn,” alone, is gross. But I also recently watched the film adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk’s “Choke” (the book is good but the film sucked), which includes lots of sexualized scenes of a woman churning in the same fashion, so this commercial now seems doubly disturbing.
These female-targeted ads for the razor brand Schick really pull no punches. They use such obvious metaphors for the bikini zone (stroking a cat, trimming the hedges, a pot of tulips between a woman’s legs) that you wonder why they don’t just say what they mean. I came across these ads when I noticed the following print ad for the Schick Quattro in a magazine I was reading:
Yikes! Anyway, the TV ads are equally ridiculous. Observe!
This Ninja Turtle-starring anti-drug ad was all the rage when it came out in the early 90s. By which I mean, it was really easy to make fun of. No better retort has ever been uttered…once a drug user hears that a square thinks he’s a turkey, clearly he’ll stop using drugs and rethink his wasted life.
I never understood why the stereotypical bad kids in these PSAs are so willing to give away their drugs for free. If I had an assortment of pills, powder drugs, joints, and needles, I wouldn’t go giving it to just anyone. I’d charge cash money for that shiz! Also, why are the bad kids even interested in corrupting nerds they don’t know? The whole situation is very unrealistic if you ask me.
This is just one of the Tiger Schulmann karate school’s fine commercials…I also like the one where a woman looks enviously at a Paris Hilton-looking socialite type, then a scary karate instructor approaches her car and magically transports her to the Tiger Schulmann school. It’s really quite confusing.
But the ad below is great for several reasons. For one, the kids have cool Brooklyn accents. Always a plus. Also, bullies were so much cooler in the 90s. At least, I assume this commercial was filmed in the 90s…it certainly looks dated. But the best part of all is at the very end when, after establishing that violence is unnecessary throughout the ad, the main character’s Jonathan Lipnicki-esque little buddy asks, “What if he jumps you?” and the main kid replies, “that’s a different story,” in a way that makes it seem like he hasn’t totally quelled his lust for revenge. Sort of like a gangster.
Usually when I get heartburn, I turn to good old Pepto, mostly because I like the taste and texture better than any other stomach remedy. Have you ever tried Mylanta? Shudder. It has the consistency of something I won’t mention in polite company, and the taste of death. But Tums would probably be my backup plan if the world ever ran out of Pepto Bismol (and a terrifying world that would be). They’re certainly better than those ones that take forever to work, Prilosec or whatever.
Regardless, I like Tums ads because they’re simple and they show appetizing-looking food sometimes. Like in the one where the guy is standing in the rain gazing longingly at a cheesesteak store. Then he remembers that he can just take medicine when it wakes up his terrible stomach problems, so he goes in and chows down. I don’t care about his stomach problems, I just like looking at delicious cheesesteaks.
But this bear commercial is clearly their best, because it stars a bear. And the bear gets heartburn! That is one smart yet destructive beast.
